As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
