I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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