tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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