Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
