Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
