I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
