It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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