You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
