I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
