I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
