Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
