Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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