Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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