ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
