he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
