I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This baby is an asshole
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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