Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
