im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
