So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
