Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
