I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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