Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
