Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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