Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
