There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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