I wanna passion pit in your ass
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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