Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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