we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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