Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
