I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is Oprah even human
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
