Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
