i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
