Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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