Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
