We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
