Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
