she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
