My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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