If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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