Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
