the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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