you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
