do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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