Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
