Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
