Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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