I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
