I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
