Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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