I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
