and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
