I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
