that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish i was in the wii world.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
