he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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