love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
