if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
